It’s not running away. It’s living deliberately.

I’ve been having some crazy ups and downs recently, and I’m off my medication. But I’ve been doing it right – it’s not a cold turkey type situation. But it’s been a crazy hard period and definitely still is – but I’ve had a few “breakthroughs”. I use quotation marks, because they’re not really breakthroughs. These are things I realized last year.

That I need minimalism. I need a slower life. I need to focus on myself, my health, and my passions. Last year I started making great plans to leave the country and move to Bulgaria to live in the mountains – live simpler, off the land, and with really shoddy wifi.

But I let people convince me it was silly. Or not the right move. Maybe I should just try to make life here more like that. But come the fuck on. It’s not that simple. There are ways that a country like this works that just doesn’t allow that kind of thing. Too much temptation. And to change so many things about my lifestyle and my whole situation is crazy large project – one that I just can’t see myself having success with. I just wouldn’t be able to handle that.

So I’m writing up a list of things to do to tie up all loose ends here.

It’ll be a while – mostly because of debt – but it’ll happen. I’m living deliberately towards that one goal now.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll come back to change this place.


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